charlatans & saints


laura | 22 | new york
food, feminism, football, funnies

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Connie: You know, Meg, there’s no dogs allowed here, so you’re going to have to leave. But Brian can stay. [Laughs] Brian: You know, Connie, I think I have a theory about why you’re such a bitch. You’re popular because you developed early and started putting out when you were twelve, but now you can’t stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a whore, so you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body is used up by age nineteen, you’re going to be a worn-out, chalky-skinned burlap sack that even your stepdad won’t want. How’s that, am I in the ballpark? 

Connie: You know, Meg, there’s no dogs allowed here, so you’re going to have to leave. But Brian can stay. [Laughs]

Brian: You know, Connie, I think I have a theory about why you’re such a bitch. You’re popular because you developed early and started putting out when you were twelve, but now you can’t stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a whore, so you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body is used up by age nineteen, you’re going to be a worn-out, chalky-skinned burlap sack that even your stepdad won’t want. How’s that, am I in the ballpark? 


posted 3 years ago on 2/4/2011 +
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    You were in the ballpark, Brian
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    I vaguely remember liking Family Guy. Now I can barely stand thinking about it.
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